I finished the Harry Potter book last night. It made me sad though, not the book's end, but just that it had ended. I have to wait two or three years to find out what happens now. I felt the same way at the end of Miller's Prayer and..., that the story I had grown attached to had somehow left me, leaving me alone. This is probably because of my lack of a social life. But I love stories that get to you, and it is hard when they end. The 104 family can understand with Lord of the Rings.

But this is what I realized [almost taken directly from my journal entry last night], is that this is what is so great about life: the story never ends. The stories of humanity, of history, of God, never really end. And you would be stretched to find a beginning. Even our stories, yours and mine, they don't really end or begin, they merely evolve and merge into other stories. 

My story begins with my parents, and I am part of their stories. In fact we make up our own story, the Waters family, but we all have our individual stories. And when I get married [?] my wife will become a part of my story and I, a part of hers, and the same for our children. And it goes on and on. Incredible. I could go on and on about this.

I am sitting here at a loss for words, with my thoughts on God's place in these stories. I don't know exactly how to write it. Maybe it is because I feel fairly parched spiritually these days, but I just don't know what words to use. I know that God is a part of each and everyone's story, for the overarching story is his story, but how he fits into our stories is always a bit different, isn't it? Deep pondering, and perhaps sauntering, is near.

Speaking of stories, this one is almost done. At least under this moniker. Time for a change, something like growing up. And yes, I did listen to this album, and more than just for irony's sake. you have my love.

Currently Listening August and Everything After By Counting Crows see related

I enjoy it when experience trumps over theory, especially at one year to the day. I miss fun times with Lynetter and Mick. I won't miss house sitting, but I will miss the sound system. I wish Jorb's phone worked better, but it doesn't. I am excited to read the new Harry Potter book, and yes, I am a nerd. I will drink a pint tonight, maybe something dark, definitely something from the UK. "Sometimes you have to laugh in the face of awkwardness." Thanks Mon, good words. And Grabs phone isn't working either, what the crap?! The anticipation of community and academia combined may destroy the very fabric of time and space. Probably not for everyone, but just me. Moving to Portland may be the most difficult thing ever, but the benefits will be rich. And hey I haven't had a roommate in a rock band since Joshy and Eight Bit. Or was it Walt and 33? Or everyone in One Step Closer? I don't know. Here is to tonight, tomorrow and to August third. seventeen. twenty-one. forty-six. you have my love.

Currently Listening Never Take Friendship Personal By Anberlin see related

Last night in my journaling, I wrote about my busy life, and how I really needed to take some time off. So tonight I took a bike ride, which for me is a break. The first part was an aggressive jaunt from the Obie's house, which I am still house-sitting, to my parent's home along the Greenbelt Trail. I passed a lot of people, took the curves too fast and probably was a bit unsafe. After checking my mail and giving my ma a sweaty hug I went back to the grind. The second part was quite a bit slower, and more contemplative. I begin to pray, the a.c.t.s. prayer, which turned to deep thoughts, from which this post was born. Interesting side note: I believe that my most intimate moments of personal worship occur in this mode of deepest thought. Now for the meat.

I do believe that one of the most difficult things to do in one's walk with God is to develop a personal understanding (or theology) of God's Will and live accordingly. I could throw out words like "open theology," "free will," "divine intervention," or "predestination," but I think that would be confusing, even for me. I think it comes down to this: you believe God has a very specific plan for your life, down to your spouse, occupation, and any other decision to be made in life, or God has given you the chance to choose from different things that he has put in your life.

Last summer, about this time I was offered the opportunity to take part in an internship with a church in Baltimore. Obviously I didn't take it. But I struggled a great deal with that choice. It ripped me up inside. Was I missing out on something God had planned on me being a part of? Or was I just unsure of myself? I don't really know what the deal was, but from it was born a new understanding of decision making. When I decided to move to Portland there was little doubt in my heart, and there still isn't much, but one thing that stands out to me is that I didn't really pray about the decision. I didn't ask God, "Lord, should I move to Portland? Show me the way, make it clear, please, amen." And I'm not saying that is wrong to pray that, but I have a different understanding. My rules: know God, ask for wisdom, make a clear decision, stick with it unless God derails it. Simple and sweet.

I hope this moves you to at least engage in thought within the recesses of your mind. I'm not looking to argue, because I will just ignore you. I also implore you to be aware of what is going on in Sudan, that being the genocide. If you have no idea what I am talking about go here. We must not sit on the sidelines for this. Sorry for making this secondary, I will write more about it at some point. Freedom, from myself, from the land. you have my love.

Currently Listening Illinoise By Sufjan Stevens CHICAGO see related